Dating a Travel Blogger: The Good, The Bad & The Cringey
I’ve always prided myself on being a pretty chill traveler—maybe a little over planny, scatterbrained, and on-the-go but generally easygoing and flexible. There's a few exceptions to this. For instance, if a travel partner is doing something that seriously crosses my moral boundaries. But that's a story for another time!
Travelling with or dating an influencer, you'll need a strong personality and a tough stomach. And no, I’m not talking about for street food in somewhere like Peru. I’m talking about the constant barrage of “Wait, hold my phone while I pose for the 100th shot in front of this ancient temple!” or “We need to do that jump-in-the-air pose again—my ponytail was off.” It’s a special brand of obsessive entrepreneurialism and narcissism.
This woman (let’s call her “Dana Slovora” to keep things anonymous) was so committed to capturing the perfect content that our trips together were basically elaborate photo shoots, with me cast as her personal photographer/production assistant. And, no salary of course. If you’re going to make me your personal paparazzo, at least bribe me with a decent cocktail or dinner out once in a while. Or, you know, a little empathy.
Ironically, after me she ended up marrying a photographer. Go figure. I guess she finally realized she’d rather have someone who actually enjoys doing her Photoshop edits she never learned to do, and lugging around three different cameras with half a dozen lenses 24/7. Good for her, I suppose. Meanwhile, I learned I do not want to date anyone who views me as a walking tripod.
There was that time she actually sidelined me during a trip because, and I quote, “showing I have a boyfriend might cost me partnerships or followers as most of my audience is male.” So while she was off hobnobbing with potential sponsors and influencer friends, I went on my own mini-adventure. And okay, sure, I still had a great time, but it was also a huge wake-up call that she was basically faking a single persona for her brand.
Behind the scenes, I was just some extra baggage, like the freebie sponsor-provided backpack she’d put in the overhead bin. Maybe I didn’t have enough brand appeal for her feed? Her old childhood buddies I met on a trip once? A similar perspective as myself, but would tiptoe around her in hopes of perks one day.
I admit it: I forgot my jacket on one trip. Big whoop. It was hardly the first time I’ve left something behind. It’s also not like the average traveler hasn’t done something equally ridiculous—who hasn’t misplaced a phone charger or left their passport back at the hostel once or twice? But Dana Slovora instantly labeled me a “bad traveler” and berated me constantly. Forget the fact that I’ve circled the globe more times than I can count or she had per own lost passport freakouts more than once—my entire skill-set was apparently voided by one forgotten piece of clothing. Instead of laughing it off or at least trolling me in a fun way, she was irritated and her level of respect for me across-the-board was permanently demoted. For her, everything was life or death—particularly her precious brand image.
And if you think that was bad, the conversation topics made it so much worse. She rarely asked about my life. Half the time I didn’t even feel like a person—just a prop in her storyline. It was always about her job, her next brand deal, her new filter pack, or why the lighting sucked in our hotel room. Don't even get me started on the grueling daily-long volley of a conversation about what she should include for her personal bedroom tour when we got home. This was a pretty bizarre reality-check for me as in my personal life I was the local social event host. I wasn't used to being out of the spotlight and treated like a "sidekick" or, more accurately, a tool.
Every once in a while, she’d toss me a bone with comments like, “Well, it’s good you have a unique face so you’re recognizable.” Um... thanks? I guess? I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or just a bizarre observation, but either way it was weird, and it made me realize she was only ever analyzing how I might fit into her feed or her future, like I was an assignment she had to check off to complete her life plan. It was all so... transactional.
Now that I’m a fairly serious travel vlogger myself—granted, less of a “climb the algorithm ladder at any cost” person and more of a “authentically share my experiences and hopefully inspire at least a few” type—I know there are absolutely downsides to being with someone like me as well. The difference is that I’d rather keep it real. I’ll use humor, I’ll be self-deprecating, I’ll occasionally forget my jacket, but I’m definitely not going to pretend I’m single if I’m not, or hide behind an image for brand deals, or lie about a shitty experience for a brand sponsorship. That’s the line in the sand for me. I just can’t compromise who I am in the name of “follower engagement.”
Do I post carefully curated, and heavily edited, shots sometimes? Absolutely! I want the photo to look like how I remembered it in my mind, and encourage people to get out there and see it for themselves. Photography is a huge passion for me — way beyond any interest in being "recognized" or "famous."
There’s a difference between staging every second and capturing the genuine vibe of a trip. There were so many times we could’ve had these amazing experiences together—sunsets on remote beaches, local culinary adventures, meeting random locals who had crazy stories—but we never fully lived them because it was all about snapping the right shot or batting ideas around for her next segment. It was exhausting.
The Lesson: Authenticity or Bust
It’s easy to get lost in the highlight reel, or wind up in a dangerous high-stress situation like Gabby Petito found herself. But if you’re not living your actual life—immersing yourself in the real experiences and being flawed and human—you’re just collecting photo trinkets for someone else’s fantasy that you'll never look at again. There’s nothing more soul-sucking than looking back at a gallery of “perfect” pictures and realizing you weren’t even emotionally there for it.
What really matters is how you feel when you’re out there exploring. You could have the most bad-ass highlight reel, but if it doesn’t reflect who you truly are, you’ll wind up with nothing but staged memories. You can edit your feed, but you can’t edit your life’s experiences without paying a steep emotional cost.
Stay real.
Author
Josh
Die-hard world traveller, hiker, and social host.